Being in a relationship was one of the toughest things (besides the class work) I experienced during my time in school over the past four years. In most relationships sacrifices must be made for the better of the relationship but I truly believe and of course I am bias that medical school is just one of the exceptions. These issues come up even more frequently when your partner isn’t another medical student because you often spend time discussing/arguing over issues that you almost would never have to with another student. I just wanted to give a few tips to those types of relationships that I have learned over the years.
A few tips to success
- Faith 1st, Medical school 2nd, Relationship 3rd and Medical school 4th
- There is always time to study
- Every test is the biggest test of their lives, it never stops
- Medical students hate talking about their day in school, they are just glad it ended
- Sleep is optional
- You can never be studying for too long
- Quality time is centered around exam schedules
- Do not plan things in advance they are too focused on the next exam
- Medical school is our job & for the next 4 years and we will refer to it as such
- NO ARGUMENTS THE WEEKEND OF A TEST
- No hypothetical questions about who they would choose medical school or you. You will lose even if they lie and choose you.
- Discussions during study sessions will not be remembered
- In the eyes of the medical student NOTHING is harder than med school, accept this “fact” because that will never change
- You will never understand what the medical student goes thru and we will never be able to explain it.
Please feel free to add your tips
I fine this to be very true Barry…and you have some really strong points."NO ARGUMENTS THE WEEKEND OF THE TEST" should be a law…lol
@Eulet Downer
Thanks Eulet, believe me thats why I had to put it in bold lol
Women need to learn how to treat men RIGHT! No drama please! =D
@Stephanie Bardales
Lol, I have been told that its actually worse for the female medical students whose partners dont understand why they are always so bury.
Thanks for valuable tips.
That is very encouraging thoughts.
It is worse! I am a PhD student and I think it also applies to us "fake doctors" (:p) and also Law students. I think people don't realize that it's not about going to classes and getting pieces of papers to put up in frames… it's an entire lifestyle!
PMS+no sleep+30 page paper due in 24 hours= MAJOR ATOMIC FALLOUT.
There are a lot of blogs (like mine) out there that are written from the perspective of the medical student's significant other (MSSO) probably because they simply don't have the time to keep up with writing it in the midst of their studies! My point is…I loved reading this because it discusses relationships in med school from an actual medical student's perspective. As an MSSO, I thank you for the insight!
http://medstudentgf.blogspot.com/
Restate first sentence:
There are a lot of blogs (like mine) out there that are written from the perspective of the medical student's significant other (MSSO) probably because medical students in relationships simply don't have the time to keep up with writing blogs in the midst of their studies!
I really appreciate this post and am glad I stumbled upon it. I am currently the girlfriend of a second year medical student, and words could never express the emotional battles I go through due to the arguments that occur. My boyfriend and I have been together for over four years now, and met in a Spectroscopy class long before he ever decided he wanted to become a physician. As a matter of fact, he wanted to be a research scientist when we first met and he changed his mind two years into our relationship.
For whatever reason, I receive comments such as, "Oh your bf is going to be a doctor.. you're set" all the time; but they have no idea that dating someone who is in medical school is extremely difficult. Often times, I feel devastated hearing some of the things he'd say during an argument.. it's almost as though he was a different person. I've cried myself to sleep re-thinking about some of the hurtful comments he'd make, often wondering how he could say those things to someone he cared about. I have always been strong-willed, but now have considered speaking to a psychiatrist just to better cope or be more "understanding" to his needs to make it through all this – whether I leave this relationship or not. You are right to warn everyone to not make ultimatums, because it'd just be a losing battle. I would never even think to make such a threat, but the pain and hurt is no less when I think about the fact that I gave up an extremely comfortable life (with a brand-new home and family) to be there for him when he was barely making it on his own as a senior in undergrad.
You see, I used to fill his fridge frequently as a surprise and was there for him when no one else cared, but now.. I cannot help but feel betrayal because he seems to be so cold at times because he has such great pressure to complete the program successfully.. and become the best physician he can be. Yes, I try to be understanding.. he is going through a lot.. but that doesn't change the fact that the words that are exchanged during a fight may be detrimental to one's mental health. I wouldn't want to wish this upon anyone…